I cheated. Seriously! No..it has nothing to do with my marriage. The Year was 1988. I had shifted from Bombay to Delhi and had taken admission in Bhartiya Vidya Bhavan, New Delhi ( 8th Standard ). Thinking I would bid goodbye to the Marathi Language subject, my joy knew no bounds. Alas..... it was too good to last. I encountered a bigger beast in the Sanskrit Language.
With a deep breath and with fear and uncertainty in my heart, I started taking my chances with this extremely alien language. Seeing the difficulty of my grasping the language, the teacher suggested and I complied, by enrolling for classes of Sanskrit language during the summer vacations. The teacher at BVB, who seemed more of a pandit than a teacher, tried his best to show that it was a very sensible and an easy language. Ultimately he failed.. and I followed him in his footsteps by failing .. in three subsequent tests. I never got more than 15 marks. The only consolation was that I had performed well in the other subjects.
The slowly approaching final exams took away my sleep. The thought of other friends scoring high consistently in this subject kind of depressed me. All izz well.. All izz well.. I kept telling myself and trying to learn the shlokas etc. In between my prayers to God, I tried to study for Sanskrit. My father always told me that God always answers. I really wanted to believe him but logic always took precedence. How can God write my paper in the exam? Then the miracle happened. I passed the exam with 75 %. I think I still have the report card somewhere in the attic. God did write my paper in the exam.
|My father's Guru|
The thought crossed my mind that it is useless for me to appear in the sanskrit exam as my previous appearance had not helped much. However my bright idea was firmly struck down by my father's guru and he directed me in a stern voice that I have to appear in the exam at any cost and that I need not worry and that I SHALL PASS. I quickly closed all the books, took his blessings and hastily departed from his room. I dismissed his statement as mere positive thinking but the courage to disobey him was not within me. So with great reluctance, I dragged myself to the examination room not knowing as to what to do next except wait for the divine INTELLIGENCE to somehow get into MY HEAD and give me all the answers.
I glanced through the sanskrit paper and I could answer only one question. I did and then I sat quietly waiting for what to do next. No god came..i looked at other students sitting next to me who were feverishly writing. I looked at my watch as to when the exam would be over so that I can escape this torture. I do remember smiling at my father's guru statement that I shall pass. It seemed hopeless.
I buried my head close to the answer sheet in order to become invisible to the teacher's questioning glance from time to time. I wanted to give him the idea that I was writing something.
During this ostrich-like attitude, I felt a tap on my left hand from a friend sitting on my left side. He had seen through me that I was not writing anything on the paper. He enquired as to why was I wasting time and not writing. I told him through hand gestures that I do not know anything.
At this, he snatched my answer sheet from me and gave me his answer sheet when the teacher was not looking. I resisted at his pulling my answer sheet as I had never cheated and did not want to.. but something told me to let go...which, on hindsight, I am glad I did..
I again went back to my ostrich like attitude while my friend completed my answers. On completion, he handed me the answer sheet back .. I hurried and handed the same to the teacher and got out of the examination room. The relief of coming out of the examination room was like winning the war after losing three battles.
In all the haste.. I forgot to thank my friend... we had never talked much before or after this incident. Yet, had he not helped me, the future may have been completely different. I came home and went straight to my father's guru. I told him what happened and how my friend completed my answers for me..he just smiled.
All was forgotton.. my Fathers guru entered samadhi a few years later.
Many Years later, in a coffee shop ( barista ) in south ex, I was waiting for someone. To pass time, I went to the adjoining book shop, picked up an obscure book and randomly opened a page, and read casually and was shocked. How is it possible? I said to myself.
The book was AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A YOGI by Paramhansa Yogananda. The passage that I read had some uncanny similarity with what happened with me earlier during my sanskrit exam. Moreover, I found that my father's guru's guru and the guru of Paramhansa Yogananda were the same. I got the book and read that night.
During that night, I realized that it was my father's guru that had helped through my friend. I remembered his smile again. Why did I not realise the obvious then? A tear rolled down my eye for not thanking him for making me pass the sanskrit exam.
The book and the sanskrit exam changed me. No longer was there a question whether GOD exists or not. whether God answers our prayers or not. The question that intrigues me now is Who is GOD? My search continues still..the answers are coming slowly.. the evidence emerging is exciting me to search for more.
A puzzling question remains..who actually cheated in the sanskrit exam?...:)
loved it..i have to get the book and read the same.ReplyDelete
Huh... On the lighter side, can somebdoy come and do the 2 reports I'm to write for submission in next 2 days....ReplyDelete
On the other side, it's a very interesting story. Obviously having not experienced it myself, difficult to believe but I know you and your faith so don't question it. I am waiting for other posts to surface, and help me answer a few questions that I have. Hopefully I can fit the puzzle pieces through this journey you've started..
It is a story which is puzzling u since long. U told me this long before but I know there are bigger surprises waiting for u in future.ReplyDelete
It is a story which is puzzling u since long. U told me this long before but I know there are bigger surprises waiting for u in future.RaviReplyDelete
hey...kewl....belief & Faith gives way to fear....and thats most important...as fearless precedes every success that follows ....this is not me but GOD writing ....jokin ...PRAMODReplyDelete
hi Amit, i liked the way u have written "Finding god through sanskrit exam". u have written it very beautifully or right way to say is that u have expressed it very beautifully carry on amit i would like to hear some more from youReplyDelete
Never knew you were such a great writer!!!ReplyDelete
A good read! What was that passage about in the mentioned book?ReplyDelete